Courage and Love on Paper

I've been struggling with writer's block over the past few weeks, but I finally broke through and wrote something down worth sharing.

I'm not typically into poetry, but it helped me today -- and hopefully it can help you too

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This Stanza

I want to cry but I can't
I'm dying to scream but my mouth won't move
Nothing is worth the time
And the time is absolute
Ever churning, ever progressing
But one step at a time

I'm alone in the dark
But the dark is light
And this stanza isn't meant to be happy
But for some reason it's lifting
One word at a time
One letter to each moment

And still I'm stuck
Writing this stanza that isn't meant to be anything
Just words on paper
Pixels on a screen
I'm stuck in the moment
Forever trapped in the wrong dimension

I'm in love with an idea
And that idea is sick
It is grotesque and ill-conceived
But the idea is there
No matter how long this stanza lasts
The idea will still be there

And I get past the swell
Past the traumatic and enveloping
And even though it hurts
I still write the next word
Because that's all I have left
Is to construct another stanza

And I understand it's all in my head
But that doesn't mean it is any less real
And forward is the only direction left
Without direction and without reprimand
My voice is my life
And my life is improving

But for some reason
(And that reason I can't explain)
Something lingers in the back of the room
Watching over my shoulder
In the back of my mind
It slips out of sight

I know it isn't merciful
Not here for my benefaction
Here to keep pushing and prying
Feeding on my state of mind
Forcing me to keep writing
To keep my soul laid bare

And I don't know what comes next
It could be the end
It could be the answer
And it doesn't matter what I believe
Because what will come will come
Surprising like a shifting cube

But for some reason
(And that reason I still can't explain)
It seems like the cube fits perfectly
In one state or another
And maybe the color doesn't matter at all
Like a lie of the light

All I want is to hold
To hold onto anyone and anything
To feel my feet on solid ground
And my hands on soft skin
Without the fear of falling off
The edge of the world

So I look to the window for solace
And what it gives me inspires
Because the shadow in the back of the room
Though merciless, I've scared it away
And the stanza gives way to another
Because writing is all I have

And this stanza is for you
And it is for me as well
This stanza is all I have
And it is all I need right now
Like a song in the back of your mind
Like a whisper in an empty hall

Face that darkness with steadfast courage
Face that fear with a loving heart
Rally the troops within
And set that old ship ablaze
A swelling roar
And a comforting heat

We'll feast in the defeat of yesterday
As conquerors of the shadow
Of the lingering spirit
Tomorrow is unwritten
Just like my final stanza
Like my final words

You're a king
Though monsters lurk below the deck
Nothing is forever
And those words should comfort you
Because this pain will someday recess
And your love will rule again