"How does it feel to know you created someone who is biologically-engineered to be incapable of playing basketball in the post?"
By Austin T. Murphy
It truly is a wonderful feeling when the years-long-held assumption that your publications are simply a medium for self-expression is superseded by the realization that there are those on the other end who appreciate and ask about your work. I thought it was about me; I was wrong, and I couldn’t be more pleased.
Recent events have forced me to reexamine my numerous flaws, the first of which has often manifested itself in my pieces; many of them have been personal to the point of selfishness. I am also arrogant; I have a tendency to operate in a bubble and assume that I always have the best of intentions; my excessive internalizations lead me to presume that I’m older and wiser than I actually am, and that’s where I sometimes hurt others.
I don’t want this time to be about me. Despite Zane’s repeated insistences that I rallied harder than anyone this weekend, I don’t deserve that credit; the recognition more appropriately belongs to the people who gave me a reason to keep going. This was their graduation weekend; this was their time in the sun.
So, to finally begin, I suppose I have to give a shout-out to the most wholesomely wonderful family I’ve ever met. The Browns are the most literal embodiment of the American Dream I’ve experienced thus far: their oldest son is going to be a goddamned American hero, their middle son plays college baseball for crying out loud, and their youngest son is both the most promising die catcher I’ve seen at his age, and about to attend the University of Texas. You’d be hard pressed to find a better example of love, dedication, and values; their generosity and open-mindedness was on full display this weekend, and was appreciated by many. Thank you, Kevin and Susan.
We were also joined by Larry Legend himself, and despite the repeated insertion of my foot into my mouth, I’d like to believe that he understood the competitive dynamic between myself and Michael; if not, I hope that he’ll give me a chance to redeem myself someday. Or not, in which case I’ll have to take him into the post and put him through the spin cycle.
On a personal note, one of my most intriguing moments was perusing the halls of my once-famed fraternity house. While the sad realization that I wouldn’t be spending any more time there hurt, it was a peculiar moment of strange juxtaposition: Kendall and Phil represent my long-gone (but never forgotten) college years, and Nikita is the heart and soul of 33. Seeing the three of them standing together in Beta (a place as foreign to her as it was familiar to them) was curious, to say the least.
And then there was the actual ceremony, where E.J. thrice blew my mind with anecdotes about his family that I will refrain from repeating; rest assured that there are people in this world with whom you DO NOT want to mess.
I could ramble on all day about each and every one of these names until my eleventh page, but, in the interest of brevity, I’ll quickly mention Alanna, Alex, Austin, Brandon, Christian, Cori, Danielle, Fletcher, Ha’jime, Hannah, Jade, Nate, Randi and Brandi (but mostly Brandi), Scarlett, and others who couldn’t be with us like Aaron, Brian, Diego, Jack, and the rest of the wolfpack. And Zach.
In summation – and this is to you, graduates, Class of 2017 – take nothing for granted, don’t sweat the petty stuff, don’t pet the sweaty stuff, and remember that you earned every bit of this, and are consequently worthy of celebration. You are perfect just the way you are; we are all unfathomably proud of you, and we look forward to the next 50-60 years of conquering the world and eventually purchasing that $3M shack of debauchery that will someday crumble into the ocean… But not before I dunk on Larry Burg and adopt him as my second son.
Congratulations.
Photo credit: The Brown Family and Nikita Michelsen
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